Mom in the Express Lane

I'd like to share with you an email exchange between my mother and me yesterday. Seems I'm not the only one having strange conversations in supermarket checkout aisles:

Mom: So, I go to the supermarket yesterday for a variety of items. The check out person is a heavy-set, 19-ish, sweating-profusely male named Gary. He does not say 2 words to me while scanning my items. I handed him my Shoprite card silently – watched him move in slow motion while the theme from Chariots of Fire was going through my head. He never told me my total, I simply looked at the monitor and did the drill on the debit card not seeing the need for conversation. I actually thought he might be mute – until – after my order was bagged and in my cart, he decided to speak and asked me the question that must have been on his mind for a long time – “So, what is hummus?”

The Undaground: Nice. Did you answer? Chickpeas?

Mom: I was so thrilled that I was the chosen one to provide the information that I went into too much detail. “It’s chickpeas, you know garbanzo beans – sometimes people call them chi chi beans. They blend some other flavoring in it, garlic and such. This brand Sbarro is the best. My son and daughter-in-law introduced me to it when they were in town for Christmas. You eat it with flatbread or even crackers. I like the flatbread – not pita, you don’t need the pocket. Grill the flatbread over the burner on your stove for a minute or two. It’s delicious. Try it, you’ll be hooked. If you like this, you’ll most likely love babaganoush”

The Undaground: Good answer. Did you watch "Old Man Bites Tenderly" yet? It's all the rage.