Pregnancy Update

Well, we've reached another milestone. Today, Mrs. Undaground is 36 weeks or officially 9 months pregnant.

Whatever she does in the next month should be carefully documented, so that someday she can tell stories ending with the phrase "when I was 9 months pregnant."

For instance...

"I went to a Santana concert when I was 9 months pregnant"

"I worked right up until my due date when I was 9 months pregnant"

"I went cliff-diving in Acapulco when I was 9 months pregnant"

"I kicked a 43-yard field goal when I was 9 months pregnant"

"I hunted and killed a wild boar when I was 9 months pregnant"

Our ultrasound has been moved to Friday afternoon. That's two more days for the baby to decide to turn around. Since I know he can hear sounds from the outside world, I've been speaking to Mrs. Undaground's belly. Last night, I promised him a pony for his fifth birthday if he gets in a head-down position before Friday. If not, he's getting socks and underwear. I hate to strong-arm the kid, but I haven't watched Supernanny for awhile so I've conveniently forgotten that you're not supposed to negotiate with them when they're this young.

Mrs. U is extremely uncomfortable these days. Her feet are swollen beyond belief. They look like flesh-colored clogs right now. The anxiety of labor is being overpowered by the desire to not be pregnant anymore. I guess that's how the circle of life works.

Speaking of the circle of life, I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do at the very moment when the baby is born. I'm not sure if the nurses will allow this, but I'd like to hold him over my head proudly on top of a scenic mountain overlook while Elton John sings... like they did in the Lion King. Anybody know of any scenic mountain overlooks in South Florida? I think the closest thing might be the balcony at the movie theater. Then again, I've always complained about babies in movie theaters. See, fatherhood is already changing me.