The 5 Stages of Grief

First, my apologies and condolences to anybody who is experiencing real-world grief from a loss.

I'm going through football grief after a loss. The situation is very different, but the stages remain the same:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

I have no idea which stage I'm in. I know I've been through all of them with the exception of acceptance.

The denial was immediate and happened some time in the 3rd quarter. This can't be happening!!! Something's wrong with Tivo!

The anger began about 20 seconds after the denial. I hope someone was taking notes because I think I may have invented some awesome strung-together profanity combinations. If my son ever calls anybody a "piece of sh*t assbag donkey d*ck f*cknut", I guess they can trace it back to last night. Hopefully, it just sounded like white noise to him.

Bargaining? Sure, I've been doing that all day. They're only sophomores. Next year will be unbelievable. Maybe we can still play in the Gator Bowl if Notre Dame beats USC. Maybe Rutgers will beat Louisville and we'll beat Rutgers and we'll split the Big East and get the automatic bid. Maybe I should skip the Slimfast and hit up Taco Bell for lunch to ease my grief with some good ole comfort food.

Depression? I'm sad for the team, most of all. But yes, I'm also sad for me and all the other Mountaineer fans whose National Championship dreams were dashed last night. Every time I think I've reached this stage of grief, I get angry again, then I start bargaining. I would need a professional to really work this all out for me, but I'm not sure my insurance would cover it considering my angst is a result of a football game.

Have a nice weekend.