Call Me a Hopeless Romantic

The other night, Mrs. Undaground was toiling away in the kitchen, making us turkey tacos. I always appreciate when she makes dinner, and tacos are a special treat since they involve both cheese and sour cream (two of the 'superfoods' on my official list). To show my appreciation, I like to saunter into the kitchen while Mrs. U is cooking and give her a kiss.

When the time was right, I paused tivo and set down my tumbler of diet black cherry soda. I popped up from the couch and entered the kitchen. There she was, browning the lean turkey in a pan over the stove. My eyes darted over to the counter, and I saw the shredded cheese and sour cream. What a dinner! What a wife!

I leaned over her to kiss the top of her head. This is sometimes an easy target for me because of our considerable height difference. Just as my lips met her bouncy, conditioned hair, the diet black cherry soda spoke. Yes, as my mouth touched my wife's noggin, I burped. Sure, it was a closed-mouth burp, but for some reason it still made a sound, like a small chainsaw running inside a wooden box. It was muffled, but not enough. Quickly, I tried to recover and kept my face planted on the top of her head. In order to compensate for my faux pas, I made a louder kissing noise than I normally would (almost as if I was trying to call a cat).

I pulled back, and my wife slowly turned and looked up at me. I doubt she even noticed the burp, what with all the burping that's been going on in my house lately. Much of our time over the past 5 months has been spent trying to encourage them, not suppress them. Our eyes met and stayed locked for an extra beat. I was waiting for her to say something, but she didn't, so I filled the silence with my own words.

"Mmmm. Tacos. Thanks so much, baby, for making dinner. I love you."

She looked a little confused, as if a tape of the past minute was playing back in her head. Finally, she spoke.

"Did you just burp in my hair?"

"Yea, sorry. That wasn't my original intent."

I really should drink more water.