Loose Dirt from the Undaground

Update to Goodfella:

I found something out last night about Mrs. Undaground's past. It is hard for me to accept, but I will work through this with her. Mrs. Undaground has never seen Goodfellas. I was shocked to hear this. It was the equivalent of finding out she had been married before, or that she was a Republican. I hate to overreact to these things, it's just surprising to me that I didn't know this before. I could have immediately worked with her to correct the situation. How many references to Goodfellas have I made to her that sailed right over her head? If I said "How am I funny, like a clown?", she might just think I'm really asking that question and answer me honestly. "No, you're not like a clown. You're more cerebral than a clown, but you do have some cartoonish features and clown feet." Honestly, I'm a little disappointed in myself as a husband that I didn't know this information. We will be watching Goodfellas this weekend and I will let you know how Mrs. Undaground likes the film.

About the Goodfella story from last week: The man in Boca Raton was indeed Joe Pesci. Police positively ID'd him using the photos that the alleged victim took. The state attorney will decide whether to file charges. The photo is now in evidence, but will be released someday... and the Undaground will have it.

Dinner for Three?

I was once a waiter, and I was a damn good one. I was a student of the waiting profession. Because of this experience, I usually have a lot to say about my server's performance when we go out to eat. I will generally tip well regardless; we'll just tip much better for stellar service. Honestly, it's been a long time since we've had stellar service. Where have all the excellent waiters and waitresses gone? Last night was no exception.

Debra, if you someday stumble upon this blog and read this post in the archives, yes, I am talking about you. Please shut the hell up.

Our waitress was quite a talker. She talked us through every part of our meal. We ended up talking to her more during our meal than each other, and that includes the whole Goodfellas revelation. Our salads were not late, yet she told us three or four times that she was going to go get our salads. OK. Thanks for the info. It was as if she wanted one of us to go with her to keep her company. Honey, can you watch the table? I'm gonna go talk to Debra while she gets the salads for us.

She was physically incapable of performing a waitressing task without first announcing it and explaining it to us.

"OK, what I'm going to do now is walk back around that corner there and take a left. Once I get around the corner, you won't see me for a moment, but don't worry, I'll be right back. When I turn left, I will then walk forward about 6 or 7 steps to the metal rack up against the wall where we keep the styrofoam. Styrofoam is our chosen material for wrapping up uneaten food, like the leftovers on your plate. I will remove one styrofoam container from the top of the stack and carefully pull it down without knocking over the drinking glasses below the syrofoam on the shelf. I will then turn my body around and face the direction from which I originally entered the room. 6 or 7 steps forward, then I'll take a right this time, you see, because I'm heading in the opposite direction. All the while, I will have the styrofoam in my hand. Then I will round the corner and return to you both with something to wrap your food in. Would you like to hear the dessert menu?"

Survivor Haiku

CBS Tonight
tune in and kick your feet up
Survivor is back!

Fire up the Tivo
start viewing at 8:20
For no commercials

Televised battle
man versus man and nature
oh, and women too

Another season
reality's finest show
The tribe has spoken