The price was right, so I went and hired a guest columnist, my Mom. Below is her first "official" contribution. She has a slightly lower level of self-confidence than I do, so she really needs you to comment on her contributions for validation. I'm not, in any way, saying that she has low self-esteem. I'm just making that point that I'm conceited and I genuinely feel superior to other people.
To celebrate the guest column, I have given my mother her own font (Verdana) and her own text color (blue #2).
I really hate it when I call my daughter by my cat’s name. I used to call her by the dog’s name when the dog was alive. It’s absurd. I know her name, I know the cat’s name – I named them both and yet it never fails, every 3 months or so – out pops the name of my latest pet when I’m addressing her. Why the hell does this happen?
When I had male pets, I don’t recall calling my boys Sergeant or Duke. It seems to only happen with my daughter. I have a deep affection for my cat, but I don’t love her nearly as much as I love my daughter so that’s not the issue. It’s weird that I never screw up and call the cat by my daughter’s name.
What’s worse is I try to cover it up - I start a sentence with the cat’s name by accident and then have to pretend I actually have something to say to the cat. Then to make it more believable, I use my sing-song baby voice as I ask a follow-up question. For example, if I’m asking my daughter if she would like something to drink and I slip and start the sentence with the cat’s name it goes something like –
“Luna, do you want a drink?” (pregnant pause as I realize my mistake)
“Who’s the itty bitty thirsty kitty?? Where’s that parched little feline??”
I have to add the “where” question when I realize the cat is not in the room. Does this ever happen to any of you? Let me know if you have any suggestions on how to quit doing this – it’s only a matter of time before the cat catches on.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Guest Column from THE UNDAGROUND MOM
Posted by
The Undaground
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8:18 AM
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9 comments:
Undaground, great post today.
ahhhh, opps, I mean.
Undaground's Mom, great post today. I've called my brother "hun" before. They way I respond to my wife. Very bad.
Kudos-
This phenomenon has happened to me, hilarious! I've called my sister by my girlfriends name, don't get too far into the psychology of that statement. I believe it's just that they both tend to drive me crazy. Sounds like your pretty smooth at covering up your disability though. Is it possible to give your next pet her name as well & to play it off as it's dedicated to the fact that you miss having her around so desperately? That it's a tribute? And secretly you'll never have to worry about your slip ups again. Keep this good material coming, it's refreshing compared to what we're usually force-fed on this blog.
It sounds serious. I've confused my children and called them by a siblings name, but the cat? Well, regardless I think if you just start naming your pets after your children (well daughter anyway)....problem solved.
By the way, I've never enjoyed The Undaground more than I did today.
the undaground has a little pep in its step today. two thumbs up!32
Like Sally Fields - "I can't deny the fact you like me! Right now, you like me!
Unlike Sally Fields - my bone density is fine.
Thanks Undaground for the Verdana font - I'll never go back to Times New Roman
I live with my Mother and Aunt who are 86 year old twins, and I get called by their sisters names, my sisters names, my cousin's name and the cats name. This has been going on for several years now and it got really bad over Thanksgiving when my Aunt kept calling her new great-grandson "she". Needless to say it upset her granddaughter when it happened. My Mother also has called her great-granddaughter Elvira which is our cats name. I figure that in a few years I will find myself doing the same thing.
Sad to say but perhaps you need to stop getting pets. Maybe a Chia pet would be O.K. As I remember you started calling me Eric way before you had any children!
Listen, you're safe as long as you don't start asking Luna (the cat, not the daughter Luna) when she will provide you with grandchildren. Oh, and don't serve your daughter tender vittles.
Great job Mama U! I miss you and can't wait to see you at Christmas!
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