Eggnog Recipe

As promised, here is a quick and easy recipe for "Special Eggnog". My grandfather always called it a "Castro". I'm not sure where he got that name, but feel free to use it. There is a drink called a Fidel Castro, but the main ingredient is ginger ale, not eggnog. This makes sense since eggnog is much more likely to stick to your beard, making you a target for ridicule from your communist friends. Those communists love physical comedy.

There is only a short window of time when this drink is appropriate. It's the same window of time when it's OK to play your John Denver and the Muppets CD, basically the day after Thanksgiving til New Years Eve. Gluttony is not looked upon as harshly during this time of year. Drinking fatty dairy drinks and slipping into turkey comas is not only accepted, it's expected. I haven't done the nutritional research, but drinking eggnog is probably no more hazardous to your health than jumping behind the counter at Dairy Queen and catching soft serve ice cream in your mouth straight from the tap. In both cases, you may get a headache, but it's well worth it.

First, you'll need glasses. If you're married, you probably registered for two sizes of glasses, the highball and the double old-fashioned (or, the tall one and the short one). Unless you want a house full of sleeping drunks by mid-afternoon, find the short ones. Mine are in the top cabinet with other things whose purpose is a mystery to me. Reach behind the corn starch and the baking soda, and you should find the right glasses.

I saw Martha Stewart making eggnog on the Today Show last week and hers involved mixing bowls and real eggs. There will be none of that here. The fine folks at your neighborhood grocery store have already done the heavy lifting for you, and all you'll need is the following ingredients:

-The short glasses you got when you got married
-Eggnog
-Light rum
-Ice
-Nutmeg (or cinnamon if you don't have any)

One person, you, should be responsible for all of the special eggnogs (or castros) that are made and served. This is not a difficult recipe; it's so easy that you probably don't even need this recipe unless you've never dumped booze in a glass of something else before. The reason that only you can serve the eggnogs is... alcohol regulation. You are the gatekeeper for holiday cheer. Someone in the family a little too "awake" for your liking? Chatty, perhaps? Someone letting the seasonal stress get to them? You get the picture. Pay close attention to your surroundings and adjust your pours in order to optimize the eggnog's special powers. Take this job very seriously, for any family holiday "incidents" could ultimately be traced back to you. Here's how to make it:

-Fill short glass 3/4 with cubed ice
-Pour 1-2 shots of rum over ice (more or less depending on circumstances)
-Fill rest of glass with store bought eggnog
-Shake well (preferably in nice stainless steel martini shaker, if not use a plastic cup
-Pour mix back into short glass
-Top with dash of nutmeg
-Serve

Special Eggnog (or Castro's) are best served in the morning. They can be a nice treat at night, but be careful if everybody's watching a movie, cause most of your guests will fall asleep after a nighttime nog. Good luck with your special eggnog and Happy Holidays.

Next, The Undaground Movie Review of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.