The Politics of Giving at the Office

I distributed Christmas cards to some select people at work this morning. Halfway through the process, I was reminded why I don't normally do this.

I had exactly 20 cards to give out. That was my allotment. Of course, we could always order more, but I'm off for a few weeks after tomorrow so this was essentially the last chance for the workplace card project without having to find out everybody's address and do it that way.

I sat down at my desk and went through the list of employees. Are we friendly with them? Did this person ever give me a card? Would this coworker benefit from a more personal holiday greeting than a firm handshake?

I whittled the list down to 22, then eliminated three in order to get under 20. I had to eliminate all three, because they work right next to each other and I didn't want the lucky card recipient to make a scene when they opened their card, drawing attention to my selective giving.

After putting the names on the envelopes, stuffing them, and even licking the envelopes (it's Christmas after-all), I made my way to the wall of mailboxes to find the names and stuff the boxes. At the same time, another coworker walked up and started doing the same thing. Let's call him Mike. Uh-oh. I didn't give this guy a card! Do I need to? Does he have one in his pile for me? I got to know him a little better over the past year. I do have an extra, so I could go back and throw one together. That's what I'll do.

Abort card distribution mission, go back to office!

There was no graceful way to leave the mailbox area, so I just pretended my cell phone was vibrating, put a concerned look on my face, and hurried off. Good job. Nice save.

I quickly put together a card and envelope for "Mike and Family". Good idea. I should have given him one all along. This will bring us closer together. I put the envelope in the middle of the pile, to make it look like it had been there all along. This way, when he grabs me and hands me a card, I can say "Thanks. Hey, I have one somewhere in here for you. Merry Christmas, friend".

I heard somebody else in the office comment on Mike's card. They are childless, what could it be? Oh, it's a picture of their dog. How cute. I'm sure he'll enjoy the photos of the Undaling and the stylish off-white envelope.

I went back to the mailboxes. Nope. Nothing new in my mailbox. I saw a holiday-looking envelope in a nearby mailbox. It had little, artistic paw prints on it. That must be it! I don't have one. Is it possible I wasn't on Mike's list, either? Did he just run back to his desk to work up a card for me? What should I do? I don't want to put him in the position of having to give me a card by giving him one.

Dammit! I forgot somebody. This person had been at our wedding. I played softball with her husband. We talk all the time at work. Oh no! Who can I cut? I hope Mike's not making me a card right now.

I hustled back to my office and opened the 20th card intended for Mike. Good thing I had a few extra envelopes. I re-addressed it to correct my error and returned to the mailboxes. Quickly, I started matching up last names and putting the cards in the boxes. I didn't want anybody to see me, in case they're not one of the lucky 20.

Oh no, here comes Mike. OK. He's just looking at the schedules. I pretended to do the same.

"Mike, have you ever had somebody give you two-weeks notice right in the middle of December."

"Yep, two people this year," he answered.

"Me too. I need to deal with these schedules today or tomorrow because after that I'm off", I said.

There, that was enough of a conversation for him to believe I was up here pondering the posted schedules the entire time, right?

Why do I care anyway? It's just a Christmas card. I could order more.

Soon after, I completed my mission and covertly put the remaining cards in the proper mail slots.

As of now, I've yet to receive a card from Mike. I'm happy I made the decision to recall the card intended for him. But I must say, I'm a little hurt that Mike didn't think to give me a card. I like dogs! I should give him one tomorrow just to make him think about it a little bit.