Face Transplant Lady Interview

People Magazine has gotten the first American interview with the face transplant patient. I'm fascinated by this story. Here it is, followed by my less-publicized second interview with her.

The world's first face transplant recipient, Isabelle Dinoire, has been the subject of wide speculation in the press – that she has visited a bar, that she has been chainsmoking cigarettes and, according to her lawyer, Ahmed Akkal, that she has described her transplant as "like having a religious experience."
But on Jan. 21, when the divorced mother of two spoke to PEOPLE from her second-floor room at the Eduard Herriot hospital in her first American interview since her Nov. 27 surgery, she emphasized that while she's making progress, her recovery so far hasn't been all roses.
In fact, Dinoire, 39, told PEOPLE: "There have been reports about me riding a bicycle through the streets, but these are nonsense. Lots has been said about how happy I am. But this has not always been the case."
According to Dinoire, "I spend almost all of my time in my hospital room. Here I have radio and television, and there is also an exercise bike in the corner of the room. I haven't started using it yet, but that may change, I suppose."
She is also trying to regain weight that she lost during her ordeal. "I am eating as much as I can," she says. "I love fresh strawberries, but have also eaten omelettes, chocolate cake and all kinds of other foods," including, she says, "the odd glass of red wine."
Still, she refused to confirm reports that she had visited a bar near the hospital, where her room has views of the bustling street below. And though she's glad for visits from her teenage daughters Lucie and Laure, her lowest moments came at year's end, when she wasn't allowed to go home for the holidays.
"I spent Christmas here, which was pretty awful really," she says. "The doctors cannot yet give me a date to go home."
In the meantime, Dinoire, who was mauled last May by her black Lab mix after falling asleep on her sofa (both she and her doctor deny she had passed out after an overdose of sleeping pills), is, say her doctors, making remarkable strides. MRIs suggest returning sensation in the triangular patch of skin and muscle transplanted to her lower face.
In addition, facial expressiveness is slowly returning, and "she is talking quite clearly, although she has some problems with the letters p and b, which require the lips," says Dr. Bernard Devauchelle, one of her primary surgeons. "She's eating normally and drinking without dribbling."
Just as important, says Devauchelle, "psychologically she has totally accepted her new face and wants to keep it. She certainly does not look like the living dead."
But there has been a downside. Dinoire's return to smoking is "not the best new thing she's started doing," says Devauchelle. "But if that's what she wants to do, we can't stop her. Her family is giving her plenty of cigarettes."

My interview with Dinoire didn't go nearly as well as People Magazine's. I was having a hell of a time trying to understand her and I didn't want to be rude, but I think she got a little ticked off at me. I was on a cell phone so maybe there was some interference. Anyway, here it is.

The Undaground: Hi Isabelle. Thanks for agreeing to do this. I'm honored to be your second American interview. Has anybody else called you since the People interview?

Face Transplant Lady: Oh yeah. My phone's in ringing off the hook. It's really overwhelming, tut I'm critty excited atout my new face.

The Undaground: You told People magazine that this was like a religious experience. Are you a very religious person?

Face Transplant Lady: Not so much. I was raised Tresyterian. My ex-husband was Acktist, tut we were never very religious.

The Undaground: I think I caught that, but you were cutting out. Can you hear me?

Face Transplant Lady: Yes, I can hear you clear as a vell.

The Undaground: Can you hear me now?

Face Transplant Lady: Yes, I'm right here.

The Undaground: Sorry. It must be on my end.

Face Transplant Lady: No trollum.

The Undaground: I also read that you are trying to put some weight on. Is it hard to eat with a new face?

Face Transplant Lady: Not really. I'm getting used to it. I'm having a teanut utter and jelly sandwich right now.

The Undaground: I really need to get over to Europe, for the exotic foods alone. So, are you surprised every morning when you look in the mirror.

Face Transplant Lady: Not surtrised, more hacky than anything. It's like a new eginning for me.

The Undaground: New Guinea?

Face Transplant Lady: I don't travel much. I used to like to stay home with my dog.

The Undaground: Let's talk about that. Will you get another dog?

Face Transplant Lady: I don't know. It's too soon. I still have my hairet.

The Undaground: I'm sorry. Is that parrot or ferret? Or did you say hair net or carrot? It must be my phone, damned Nextel.

Face Transplant Lady: Hairet!

The Undaground: Right. Also, you're doctor tells me you can drink without dribbling now. That's a big step for a face transplant patient, no?

Face Transplant Lady: I like red wine, so I would say that it's a good thing.

The Undaground: I can't remember the last time I drank wine when I didn't dribble a little bit.

Face Transplant Lady: It takes some tractice, esvecially with two new lits.

The Undaground: So, you've had breast enhancement surgery as well?

Face Transplant Lady: No! Where do you get that from?

The Undaground: Sorry. I thought you said... Never mind. Can we move on?

Face Transplant Lady: Flease

The Undaground: Your dog?

Face Transplant Lady: What?

The Undaground: Can you hear me now?

Face Transplant Lady: Yes, you idiot. What is wrong with you?

The Undaground: Again, I'm sorry. I should have called from the other phone. So, are you planning to watch the Super Bowl?

Face Transplant Lady: I think I will. My auntie is from Vittsturgh.

The Undaground: Is that in France?

Face Transplant Lady: Is this some kind of ractical joke? Are you a real retorter?

The Undaground: I have a blog. I'm a blogger.

Face Transplant Lady: You're a clogger?

The Undaground: I've always wanted to, but I'm not much of a dancer.

Face Transplant Lady: Let's wrat this ut. Last question, then I gotta go glow my new nose.

The Undaground: OK. Sorry again. I think it's both of our phones now. Must be an electrical storm somewhere. So, I hear you're smoking again. What brand do you smoke?

Face Transplant Lady: Arlament Lights.

The Undaground: Those are definitely French.

Face Transplant Lady: Don't ever call me again, you vastard.

The Undaground: You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I guess you probably haven't kissed anyone yet with that mouth, becau-

Face Transplant Lady: Gu-Gye! (click)