Choking Dangers

So, my wife and I were in our usual spots in the living room, eating small bowls of macaroni and cheese. She looks over at me, and then looks away, and then quickly back at me. She literally does a genuine double-take.

I was telling her some story and I was using both of my hands to talk. Until I saw the look on her face; a perfect mixture of amusement and disgust, I didn't realize where my bowl of tasty noodles had gone, since both hands were occupied.

There, on the crest of my gut, rested my pasta. If I moved the bowl away, I may have been able to place a nice floral arrangement there, or it could have served as one of the rows on a human pyramid. Yes, we had discovered a new "surface area" to put things.

Lucky for me, on my way into the kitchen, there's a full-length mirror on the wall. I get to see the gut in all its glory after every meal. I took a good look before walking into the kitchen. Yep, salad for lunch tomorrow.

Mrs. Undaground put her dish into the sink. "So, are you going to blog about your belly-shelf now?"

"No", I said, "It's not something I'm proud of. To be fair, I was somewhat reclined when the shelf appeared."

"You shouldn't eat when you're reclining. You could choke."

"That's a good point. I should blog about that."