When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May

Mrs. Undaground and I watched the Oscars last night. I'm glad we have Tivo, because we both fell asleep and rewound it to watch the big awards.

Earlier in the telecast, Jessica Alba walked out on stage. Mrs. Undaground was quick to point out: "There's your girl."

I would like to make something clear in this public forum: Mrs. Undaground is my girl; Jessica Alba is not. We have never had a relationship or even exchanged phone numbers. She does email me from time to time, but it's usually just forwarded jokes and comments on my blog.

With that being said, when they make "Undaground Blog: The Movie" and its sequel "The Undaground Blog and the Goblet of Fire", I will cast Jessica Alba to play Mrs. Undaground in the film. Since I have extensive acting experience, I will play myself. Morgan Freeman, naturally, will narrate. Finally, Pat Harrington Jr. will most certainly play our neighborhood handyman, Schneider.