Surgery Preps

There are some very basic things I need to take care of before going under the knife tomorrow.

With every surgery, no matter how minor, there are questions that need to be answered and plans put in place as a form of insurance against the unthinkable.
I will not be under the influence of anesthesia. Instead, I will be tripping the light fantastic under the influence of a powerful cocktail of novacaine and nitrous oxide. I am currently in negotiations with Dentaland over whether they will play the "Dark Side of the Moon" album while my parts are slowly removed from my body. Is that too much to ask?

As for the actual wisdom teeth, I would like them preserved in a small plastic container and sent home with me, so that I may place them under my pillow. I have been trying to capture the tooth fairy for the purposes of science since kindergarten. This is the first time in about 28 years that I'll have the opportunity again. What's the tooth fairy paying these days? What is his major source of income? I heard he was recently married to a biker in Massachusetts and the two of them adopted triplets from Albania. How does the tooth fairy juggle his fairy responsibilities with being a mother/father?

I have been told not to eat or drink anything after midnight tonight. I will heed the warning, because I've seen the movie Gremlins and who knows what would happen.

Please refresh yourselves on My Living Will (Mrs. Undaground, this means you). I don't want you to worry about me; I just want to have the conversations we need to have before I get wheeled back into that operating room.