Big Bucks, No Whammies!

According to a Gerber commercial I saw yesterday, the 300 millionth American will be born this October, and Gerber will be there for the baby.

Excellent! We are due in October.

I immediately went to Gerber's website to see what we can win. They directed me to another website, gerber300.com. As far as I can tell, there is no prize (other than the gift of life, of course). There is a counter, though, that keeps track of all of the babies born and I guess they've calculated that October is when the magical moment will happen. Are we supposed to call Gerber when our baby is born so they can update their website? This is the first I've heard of that. Who else do we need to call? Can we just call our immediate family and have them pass the word to second cousins, former neighbors, and baby food companies?
I'm a little irked that there's no prize. What did the 200,000,000th kid win? My estimation is that the 200 millionth birth happened sometime in the early 1900's, probably during prohibition. It couldn't have been an iPod, because they weren't invented yet. It was probably just a cotton gin or something, but at least they made an effort. I was hoping we could win a million dollars, or 300 million, or a lifetime supply of baby food. Maybe our baby's photo could replace the old Gerber baby on all of the jars of strained carrots and liquid turkey. Can we at least get a tote bag?

Maybe there is a prize and they're just not announcing it, in an effort to prevent fraud and deception. Technically, some unscrupulous parents-to-be could schedule a C-section, collude with their doctor and deliver one minute after the 299,999,999th child is born. I pledge that Mrs. Undaground and I will not do that. If we win this thing, we're gonna do it on the level.