Dis n Dat

Pregnancy Update
Mrs. Undaground is 24 weeks today. We're now watching the baby move on a nightly basis. He's kicking up a storm and probably doesn't realize he's got 16 weeks left to go. He has a name, but so far we're only telling people we know we will never see again in our lives. That's kind of backwards, huh? The conversations usually go like this:

"What's his name?"

"We'll tell you if you promise to never bother us again. From this day forward, we are no longer acquaintances. This will be our last conversation. OK with you?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Very well, the name is ..."

Mixing it Up
I tried something different this morning. Instead of coffee, I went to Jamba Juice and had an Acai Supercharger. It's safe to say that I don't eat fruit as often as I should, so I figured I'd try it out. It was delicious. I don't know how the energy part will work, but I am typing about 300 words per minute right now. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. They asked me my name at Jamba Juice, even though I was the only person in there. That made me a little uncomfortable, so I lied and told them my name was Kenny.

Missing Slipper
I'm missing a slipper. I've started an investigation. Here are the facts:

• My dog, despite her other bad habits, has great respect for my personal items.
• My wife strongly dislikes these slippers, partially because I've worn them in the driveway and they're definitely not for public view.
• The cats are usually only interested in small, woodland creatures. Also, they have an alibi. At the time, they were busy shedding.

So, right now, the only suspect is my wife. She has a motive, but she also has a high moral code, so I'm not sure she's capable of such a crime. I haven't mustered the strength to look under the bed yet, but perhaps a Jamba Juice energy boost will take care of that.