Pregnancy Update: Week 21

As of yesterday, Mrs. Undaground is 21 weeks pregnant. Our little boy is extremely active. He reacts to music and food. As soon as my wife begins eating something, he starts flipping around or kicking. This past week, after about 50 failed attempts, I felt the baby kicking.

As for Mom, her belly now looks a lot like mine. Apparently, I'm the equivalent of 21-weeks pregnant. I realized the other night that Mrs. Undaground, over the past few months, has been slowly turning into me. Here's the evidence:

Heartburn

Grunting more often

Enjoys grunting

Belly size

Outgrowing clothes

Cravings

Frequent desire to nap

Difficulty tying shoes

Occasional back pain

Gets emotional watching reality tv

Gassy

Truth be told, the missus and I have never been closer. We understand each other better now. I fully empathize with everything that's happening to her. I imagine we're approaching the point in the pregnancy where our physical symptoms will begin to differ somewhat. Although I'm trying my best to keep up, I expect her belly growth to outpace mine over the next few months. That's probably a good thing. Also, I don't have any personal plans to start lactating.

While I'm on the subject of breasts, let me tell you about our next door neighbor. On more than one occasion, I've somehow been a party to this conversation:

Neighbor Lady: If I could give you one piece of advice, I'd tell ya to rough up those nipples or you aint gonna be able to do it.

Mrs. Undaground: (laughs) OK. You actually told me that last time we talked.

Neighbor Lady: I'm serious. Rough 'em up or you aint gonna be able to feed that kid. (Looks at me) Play with 'em or do whatchu gotta do. Get 'em good 'n rough.

Me: (nervous... OK, make a joke) Maybe I could get those clamps out of the closet.

Neighbor Lady: Whatever you gotta do, do it. Pinch 'em, scrape 'em, flick 'em, bite 'em. burn 'em, squish 'em. Now's the time. Rough 'em up!

Me: (to Mrs. Undaground) I guess you won't read this in any of your books.

Mrs. Undaground: Definitely not.

Neighbor Lady: That's right. Take it from someone who knows. Don't listen to them books. I smoked and drank for all three kids. They thought the second one was gonna be a mon-go-loid. But she turned out fine, didn't it? Rough 'em up real good!

Me: Okay. I guess we're going to keep walking now. I think I hear the phone ringing in our house. If not, then I definitely left the oven on. The dog's got to eat. There's a load in the dryer. We've got to go. Bye now.

Mrs. Undaground: Yes, thanks for the advice. We'll see you later, unless we can find an alternate dog-walking route.

Neighbor Lady: Don't forget, Rough 'em up! Hey, if you ever need a babysitter...