Early Retirement

Today is a sad day for me. I'm retiring my favorite pair of cargo pants. If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know that cargo pants are near and dear to my heart. I enjoy the soft feel of wrinkle-free khaki against my skin, and I love having extra pockets for whatever chattel I may decide to carry. Last time I wore them, I discovered some small holes forming just above the back pockets. Apparently, the precious cargo pants have endured one-too-many tumbles in the dryer.

I've heard people say before that mutts are the best dogs. Sometimes, the best pets are not the $700 purebred royalty dogs with papers; sometimes they're the pound puppies that you get for the cost of the first shots. How does this relate to my cargo pants? Well, these weren't a pair of $60 Dillards pants or even Old Navy. I picked these up at Costco for nineteen bucks about two years ago. Yep, I threw them right in the cart on top of the 200-pack of frozen taquitos and a 6-gallon jug of sour cream. I don't know that I'll ever find a pair again that fit me and serve me so well.

I have so many memories associated with these pants. They carried me through more than one rainy concert. Once, I found a five dollar bill in one of the many side pockets. I clearly remember a time when I walked past an older woman at work who I thought was a mute, when, out of nowhere she said "Hey, nice pants."

So today, I've chosen to proudly don them one last time, even with the visible hint of my boxer briefs. I'm proud to take them for one more spin around the workplace. Maybe at lunch, I'll spill one last dollop of ketchup on them, just for old times sake. When I get home, I'll slip them off and quietly place them in the outside garbage can. I might just light a candle and say a little prayer.

Goodbye, pants.