Maybe Next Time

It's time to introduce a brand new adverb to the Undaground blog:

"crappily"

As in, "I participated in a poker tournament with some old people this weekend, and I played crappily".

My favorite adverb is still "swimmingly". However, that word doesn't apply in this case.

At one point, I was the chip leader at my table. Then, my pocket jacks were cracked by a deaf man with three sixes, and I lost most of my stack on one hand. There were actually two deaf guys at my table. They were speaking to each other using sign language throughout the game. Unfortunately, I only know sign language for the lyrics of "Bridge Over Troubled Water", so I couldn't tell if they were cheating, but I have my suspicions.

I'm a good sport, so I did congratulate him after he cleaned me out by signing "sail on silvergirl", combined with a thumbs up. I hope he didn't take offense. If I knew I was going to be playing against the deaf, I would have learned how to sign a Kenny Rogers song. Then, I could have offered him some advice on those three sixes for a taste of his whiskey (I would have told him to fold 'em, by the way).

In other unlucky news, we did not win the lottery Saturday night. Of course, there's a one in forty-two million chance that we did actually win, and that I'm lying right now to lay low until the press conference. There was a brief moment of panic that evening, about three hours before the drawing, when I realized Mrs. U was doing laundry and I had left the lotto ticket in my back pocket. Thankfully, I found the pair of shorts and retrieved the ticket before it was destroyed in the washing machine.... but we didn't win, honestly. (unless I'm lying).