Two Chances for Riches

I haven't played a hand of poker since the boy was born. It's one of the things that I've given up in order to "spend more time with my family". Other things that I've cut out of my life include going to movies (anxiously awaiting Borat's DVD release), watching hockey (the Flyers dismal season is making this very easy), and break-and-bake cookies (I can no longer say I'm eating for three).

Anyway, tomorrow I am playing a poker tournament at a retirement community. I'm hoping to shake the rust off and accumulate some chips early enough in the tournament to put myself in a good enough position to win. This will be the third time I've played in this tournament. My first two attempts didn't go so well. The poker gods were not good to me. Each time I had a hand, somebody next to me with an oxygen tank had a slightly better hand. Old people talk a lot of trash in a very passive aggressive way, so, if I eventually win, I will take great glee in spending their social security checks on a new laptop for Daddy. For what it's worth, the players who are hooked up to heart monitors are much easier to read.

If I fail in the poker tournament, I have another opportunity to cash in on Saturday night. The Florida lottery is up to $42 million, so I'm fixin' to get me some tickets. (For those of you who live up North, 'fixin' is Southern talk for 'plannin'.) At least three of four times a week, Mrs. Undaground and I have a conversation that includes the phrase "when we win the lottery". The problem is, we never actually buy a ticket. I'm not a professional oddsmaker, but not having a ticket probably lessens our chances of actually winning. This time, we'll have our tickets. I'm thinking I'll get 3 or 4 quickpicks, depending on how saucy I'm feeling when I enter the convenient store.

So, wish me luck on the poker thing and the lottery thing. I've got a good feeling that this could be a big windfall weekend. At the very least, I plan to walk out of the poker tournament with a complimentary bag of bagels and walk out of the convenient store with a tasty Payday bar. Even if my weekend is not profitable, I expect it to be very delicious.